If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
