my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize