you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
