I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
