lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
