? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
