so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
