She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
