is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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