if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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