how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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