i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
