Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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