I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
