I wanna bring you to show and tell
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
