After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
