Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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