I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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