if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
