Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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