Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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