theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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