perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
