Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
