When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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