Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
