I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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