the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize