If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
