he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize