First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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