She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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