Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
