We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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