I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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