3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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