The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
