i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
