I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
