As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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