She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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