it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
