We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
