hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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