So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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