When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Dick very happy bro
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
