you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
