what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
