I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
