Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
as a side note pls kill me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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