i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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