hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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