We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
