when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
false alarm. still invincible.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
