How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have fence marks all over my body
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
