wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
