I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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