Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
